FORT DRUM, N.Y. — Military dependents nationwide are signing up for Dear John, a new dating app utilizing GPS technology that notifies Jody when you are deployed, sources confirmed today.

Dear John has already created over thousands of potential divorces in and around military bases after its launch last year. The Tinder-style app, launched to help battle loneliness and horniness in military spouses, already has 110,000 users across the U.S., the company said.

“I thought my life was over. Here I am in a new town with new people, and no one to slap my tits around,” said Abby Barnes, who joined the social app around a month ago and has already met with eight Jodies who are relentlessly attracted to lonely women who have zero inhibitions. “I was a bit nervous to meet up with Jody at first but I’ve been having a lot fun lately.”