How to be a Duffel Blog writer
How to be a Duffel Blog writer
We're now accepting applications.
Most people think Duffel Blog writers are the most intelligent, hilarious, and best-looking military members and veterans in existence, and of course, those people are right. But our writers are also an eclectic group of people who write military-centric satire for fun, clout, and that sweet cash payment after an article hits your inbox.
That’s not to mention having the power to reach millions of people, in addition to deftly skewering national security issues in a way that will get our readers thinking and hopefully affect change.
But how does it all come together?
Hi, this is Paul, the editor in chief of Duffel Blog, and I’m here to explain.
Back when this all started in 2012, it was just me writing my weird ideas on Marine infantry life or making fun of the ‘Chair Force.’ But it wasn’t long before I got an email from Kuwait: “I’m incredibly bored. Can I write for you?” I remember one soldier asking.
Then messages came in from others: a Navy veteran. An Army infantry officer. Even a Coastie. Troops realized they could complain to more than just the person sitting next to them in formation about the first sergeant or bloated weapons systems.
Now, there are nearly 60 contributing writers of all stripes and services who meet online every day in a private Facebook group to pitch ideas, post drafts, and most importantly, offer suggestions and push others to be better. It’s our place to talk about and share our views on what’s happening in the world. And from that brainstorming comes the articles that you love, like recent news that the Air Force is building a precision-guided Covid-19 vaccine delivery system and critiques that the National Guard lacks an exit strategy for the presidential inauguration.
Aside from that, many Duffel Blog writers have gone from internet friends to real friends, and we probably shouldn’t talk about our first ever ‘DuffelCon’ gathering in Tybee Island except to say it was a lot of fun.
We have plenty of bad ideas too, of course. But we tend to pull diamonds from the rough in a similar way as The Onion and its ‘tough room’ voting system: Writers pitch a headline to the group, and if it gets at least a couple of ‘likes’ or comments, it’s a good one and they write it. Or sometimes other writers will drop a much better headline in the comments like ‘Macho Man’ Randy Savage coming in off the top rope.
Once an idea is fleshed out, writers get to work on a draft and bring it back into the group. Other writers collaborate on the article, offer ideas to tighten up language, suggest a joke here or there, or point out that calling one of the characters Spc. Büttmnchin might be a little too on the nose. (No way!)
So what do I need to do to join you?
The application process is straightforward: Just fill out this form with your name, contact information, headlines, and a writing sample.
Duffel Blog has been hailed as "pitch-perfect" satire by Wired while CBS News said it often "turns out some of the best satire since Joseph Heller wrote Catch-22,” so we're stringent about keeping our pool of writers strong and fresh.
Our best writers are creative, have military experience and a great sense of humor, and possess a willingness to master the elements of parody, news style, and satirical writing. They also should commit to engaging in the writers’ room and write at least one article per month.
If this sounds like your cup of tea, apply! Or if you have any questions, hit reply and let’s chat.
—Paul
45th Infantry Brigade Combat Team Ends Drought at Ft. Irwin;
Orange and Marijuana Growers Start War to Use the Post
by Special Correspondent Hawkeye Gage
The famed Thunderbird Brigade of the Oklahoma Army National Guard became the first Infantry Brigade Combat Team to perform a rotation at the National Training Center in remembered history according to the Commanding General, MG Jack Patton. “We’ve asked around and no one can recall if an IBCT ever came through before.”
While the Thunderbirds became the latest fodder for the equally famed 11th ACR (Blackhorse Regiment). The rotation saw an expected side effect. The Thunderbirds were true to their name bringing lightning, thunder and rain to the region. Ending the millennial-long drought in the Western Mojave Desert. “We are calling the drought officially over,” according to National Weather Service spokesperson, I.C Clearly. He reports that, “people are seeing grass grow in the yards without having to water them.” He added further that thanks to the 45th IBCT’s rotation, “this will go a long way to ease the water shortage in the region for weeks to come.”
MG Jack Patton has pleaded with Oklahoma Governor Kevin “I eat meat” Stitt, to extend the rotation, almost indefinitely. Governor Stitt could not be reached for comment. However, Brigade Commander, COL Cole Wiggins, did respond stating, that the “Thunderbirds go wherever we are needed. We invented the motto, “if it ain’t raining, we ain’t training.” He further stated that the Thunderbirds have responded to tornados, floods, fires and hurricanes. “Wherever we go, the packing list mandates wet weather gear to be taken, as so often rain accompanies us.”
However an additional reason for MG Patton’s plea is to beef up security at the isolated post as orange and marijuana grower have begun to feud for the now fertile land. So far it has been limited to the throwing of oranges and other less valuable produce at the marijuana growers, who have not been injured due to the dense smoke screen that seems to accompany then wherever they go.
More as the situation develops.
I have an article suggestion to submit with text...don't think I have the time or the chops to do it regularly