Ikea signs $800 million contract to assemble Iraqi prime minister's cabinet
BAGHDAD — The US Department of State has achieved a major breakthrough in Iraq's attempt to assemble a cabinet, after brokering a deal in which Swedish home goods retailer IKEA was contracted to assemble it, according to sources.
Iraqi Prime Minister Haider al-Abadi, who had been unable to assemble the cabinet himself, reportedly "breathed a heavy sigh of relief," after learning of the $800 million contract.
Ikea, infamous for its complex cabinet designs that require an immense amount of assembly with vague instructions, was brought in after al-Abadi and US advisers stayed up for two days straight trying to put together a cabinet themselves. US State Department spokesman John Kirby confirmed the arrangement and said he expects Ikea's assembly fee "will be worth it."
"It's impossible. There is no way you can do this by yourself," said Kirby, visibly disheveled and un-showered. "We invited all of the neighbors over — Jordan, Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, Turkey. But Iran kept rearranging things."
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