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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 116 · Tuesday, 29 September 2026

Air & Space

Space Force’s new uniform puts a little goose back in the step

White House says redesign projects discipline, strength and “absolutely no historical parallels”

Military leaders debate who gets to masturbate first in sniper arch

Mitch McConnell returns from extended drill weekend

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Vol. 15 · No. 116

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Vol. 15 · No. 116 · Deployed worldwide

Tuesday

29 September 2026

2050 Zulu

Next edition Wednesday

← Front page
· Page 2

Illicit relationship between S3 and S4 is logistical operations nightmare

Filed · 1538

FORT DRUM, N.Y.—An illicit relationship between Maj. Melanie Cruz, S3 of 1st Battalion, 23rd Infantry Personnel Service Battalion, and Capt. Trevor Hinds, S4, has become a logistical operations nightmare.

“You would think that a relationship between your logistics and operations officer would be flawlessly executed with the millions of dollars the army put into their training, but they keep fucking it up,” said Capt. Sarah Bradley, Battalion S1 and Cruz’s former roommate. “But time after time, she’s making plans and canceling. And he’s running out of condoms.”

Hinds, who is happily married to his high school sweetheart, has been carrying on the relationship for months unnoticed.

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