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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 136 · Saturday, 14 November 2026

Navy & Marines

Marine with extremely low IQ thrilled by switch to Super Intelligence

Marine Corps announces major technological advancement requiring millions of dollars in new signage and PowerPoint slides

Homeless veterans receive 10% off cardboard boxes this Veterans Day

Hegseth asks staff to make next execution more like ‘The Running Man’

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Vol. 15 · No. 136

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Vol. 15 · No. 136 · Deployed worldwide

Saturday

14 November 2026

1017 Zulu

Next edition Monday

← Front page
· Page 2

Offering a ‘return to normalcy,’ Biden pledges troop surges in Iraq and Afghanistan

“We’re not doing any of this troop withdrawal malarkey."

Filed · 0500

WASHINGTON — After promising a return to normalcy after four turbulent years under his predecessor, President-elect Joe Biden took concrete steps in that direction today by pledging to order troop surges in both Iraq and Afghanistan on his first day in office.

“Americans today are more divided than ever before,” the former vice president said in a speech. “And those deep divisions are reflected here in Washington at the highest levels of government.”

“It seems like the last time Congress achieved a true bipartisan consensus was when we authorized the use of military force against Iraq back in 2002,” Biden said. “Those halcyon days can be ours again — and they will be, once troop levels return to 10,000 in both Iraq and Afghanistan!”

Soon after he is sworn into office in January, sources say Biden will order Pentagon leaders to draw up plans for tens of thousands of additional troops to be sent to Iraq and Afghanistan, and maybe even Turkey just for the hell of it.

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