RAMSTEIN AB, Germany – Widespread panic occurred this week at 3rd Air Force Headquarters on Ramstein Air Base, Germany, after an intel officer used all these big words during his daily update brief.

Lt. Amit Reddi, an air defense analyst for 3rd Air Force, apparently threw the unit into complete chaos by explaining that “enemy maneuvers were nominal” and “aggregate troop movements indicated an absence of aggressive activity.” Further observations were muddled by the bedlam, but reports are that words such as "amalgamation," "kinetic," and "airplane" were among those that caused the worst uproar.