Skip to content
DUFFEL BLOG

Free military brief. No CAC required.

For more than a decade, we've deployed pitch perfect satire to service members around the world.

Join thousands of troops, veterans, and defense insiders who read Duffel Blog before breakfast.

“A must-read for national security nerds.”

—The Daily Beast
Subscribe form

Free. No spam. Unsubscribe anytime.

14years publishing
4,200+dispatches filed
20,000+readers briefed
OpFor

New ISIS propaganda video claims American colors do run

New ISIS propaganda video claims American colors do run

BAGHDAD, Iraq — A new ISIS video is set to be released this week and Americans are "not going to like it," according to multiple sources in the intelligence community.

The video, which shows a member of the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant (ISIS or ISIL) desecrating an American flag in a washing machine, was posted to jihadist chat rooms and is expected to be widely available on the internet by week’s end.

“You have a bumper sticker that says 'These colors do not run!'" the jihadist known as “Dearborn Dave” says to the camera. "But we have seen time and again, this is not true."

As he removes a flag from a Kenmore upright, he looks right into the camera and says, "Well, well, well, what have we here? The reds and blues have bled, like your soldiers, and now the whole thing is just, just purple!”

Sunni extremists believe purple to be the color of defeat for one of the many obscure, impenetrable reasons Islamists often cite. "Plus, it's a little gay," Dave says.

Dave continues addressing the audience, saying “For some reason, your Van Zants wrote a nonsensical song about it. Even our ignorant, illiterate wives know that colors must be kept separate, and washed in cold water.”

More Stories

Your Cart

Your cart is empty

Browse the shop to find something you like.

Continue Shopping →
Subtotal

Add more for free shipping.

✓ You qualify for free shipping!