Skip to content
DUFFEL BLOG

Military news that accidentally tells the truth.

For more than a decade, we've deployed pitch perfect satire to service members around the world.

Join thousands of troops, veterans, and defense insiders who read Duffel Blog before breakfast.

“A must-read for national security nerds.”

—The Daily Beast
Subscribe form

No spam. Unsubscribe anytime.

14years publishing
4,200+dispatches filed
20,000+readers briefed

ISIS hit with massive wireless bill after sending 'message to America'

TIKRIT, Iraq — The Islamic State is rethinking its mobile carrier today, after sending a message to America that wound up costing it $73 million in overage charges on its wireless plan, Duffel Blog has learned.

“We thought we had unlimited messages,” said spokesman Abu Muhammad al-'Adnani. “But it turns out, the infidels at Virgin Mobile don’t really mean unlimited when they say it. There is a million message limit buried in the so-called ‘fine print.’ A thousand curses on you, Mr. Branson! This is total zift.”

“I will write some fine print on them with my weapon, Insh’Allah!” he added.

More Stories

Your Cart

Your cart is empty

Browse the shop to find something you like.

Continue Shopping →
Subtotal
WELCOME10 — 10% off applied at checkout

Add more for free shipping.

✓ You qualify for free shipping!