TEL AVIV – Convicted Israeli spy and former adult film star Jonathan Pollard was released from U.S. custody today and repatriated abroad, the State Department has confirmed, but an apparent mix-up had him accidentally sent to the Islamic Republic of Iran.
Pollard pleaded guilty in 1987 of stealing more than 360 cubits of classified documents from the United States and selling them to Israel — America's greatest and most loyal ally ever — which held onto all the documents because that's what best friends do.
He later admitted he'd chosen Israel solely out of a moral obligation to its people, but also after he failed to sell classified material to Pakistan, South Africa, Taiwan, Argentina, Australia, his Iranian neighbor, and Candyland.
Pollard's release comes after months of tortuous shuttle diplomacy by U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry. Kerry, whose hard-hitting negotiating style has razed peace expectations in fashion reminiscent of Genghis Khan, personally flew in to Tel Aviv to deliver the good news to Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu.
