LANGLEY AFB, Va. — Air Force lawyers suffered a major embarrassment yesterday, after Judge Advocate General Capt. Jim Hansard was found guilty in a food court of cutting the line at Subway. Following arguments and cross examination, food court sandwich clerk Daryl concluded that Hansard had indeed occupied the spot in line belonging to Lisa, a 43-year-old dependent.

Hansard has pleaded not guilty, offering as a defense that "The line wasn't well formed," and "I was totally next." As the defense was providing the particulars of his roast beef sandwich, the prosecution Lisa, accused Hansard of line cutting.

Things escalated quickly from there. The defense cited a rule granting members in uniform smorgasbording priority during lunch hours. Exhibit A was his uniform and Exhibit B was the clock that showed it was 13:30.