Jedi chaplain finds your lack of faith disturbing
Why does Chaps keep trying to Force choke me?
By As For Class
PATRICK SPACE FORCE BASE, Fla. — The U.S. Space Force has announced the appointment of the first Jedi chaplain, a bold move aimed at providing spiritual support to the growing number of troops who follow the paths of the Force and extreme nerd culture.
Jedi Master Jonathan Blaster, a longtime Star Wars fan, was ecstatic about the opportunity and his appointment. "I am honored to be the first Jedi chaplain in the DoD," he said. "I hope to bring balance to the lives of our soldiers, their families, and their wookies—I mean woobies."
The Space Force announced this expansion of qualified chaplains in an effort to connect with “the youth” and the times.
“Listen, we aren’t here to judge service members and their faith,” said a Lt. Space Cdr. Chevy Candy, a spokesperson for the Space Force.
“You can worship Thor and grow a sick beard. You can be a Wiccan and do what Wiccans do. You can even be a Juggalo, whatever the fuck that is. All we care about is that you join. Please, for th…
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