FORT HOOD, Texas — In spite of the fact you’ll be on a training mission to Qatar this Father’s Day, your neighbor Jody has informed your wife that he is “totally willing” to stand in for you, cul-de-sac sources report.

Jody says that he’s just taking one for the team.

"Yeah, I didn't want to have to open gifts, get a fancy dinner, and do this soldier’s other husbandly duties,” said Jody from your sofa, “but it's the least I can do when he’s overseas sacrificing for our country."