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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 121 · Saturday, 10 October 2026

Pentagon

Hegseth opens up new TradWife MOS

Army says new career field will allow warfighters to focus on lethality while someone else remembers the kids

DTS works properly after hack by rogue AI

Lincoln sailor returning from deployment already broke

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Vol. 15 · No. 121

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Vol. 15 · No. 121 · Deployed worldwide

Saturday

10 October 2026

2006 Zulu

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· Page 2

Joint force diagnosed with arthritis

Filed · 1535

KANDAHAR, Afghanistan — After more than a decade tromping through the deserts and mountains of Afghanistan, the Joint Force has been diagnosed with arthritis, according to a publicly-released medical examination.

"We are stunned and dismayed by this news," Gen. John Nicholson said in a statement. "We are currently unsure how it will affect operations in the area. For now we've applied alternating hot and cold compresses and are just letting it all sink in."

"This isn't exactly news," said Military Assistance Command, Vietnam (MACV) in a candid interview, now nearly 60 years old itself. "It's part of life. You know how it goes. The Afghan Army leaves the nest to go out on its own. AARP leaflets start coming in the mail. Then you just sort of start slowing down, you know? You can see it in the way they bend over to pick up troops in hot LZs, the way GBUs keep slipping out of their hands. Little things."

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