Kim Jong-un’s Wife: If I Finally Give You Head, Will You Stop This?

PYONGYANG, DPRK — As North Korea inches closer to the nuclear brink, one woman has stepped forward with a stunningly selfless offer that might be the world’s last best hope for keeping tensions on the Korean Peninsula from coming to a head.

“I was really hoping this day would never come,” said Ri Sol-ju, wife of Dear Leader Kim Jong-un. “But it occurs to…