Pentagon Shocked By Wave Of 'Knockout Game' Attacks
PENTAGON — Another so-called "knockout attack" has shaken the halls of the Pentagon after a three-star admiral was beaten senseless and left unconscious in the "E" Ring.
Vice Admiral Martin "Marty" Plenio had just finished delivering his brief on "Net-Centric Environmentalism in Littoral Warfare" to the Defense Science Board when he was randomly approached by a still-unidentified Army captain.
After initially asking for an extra handout of his powerpoint presentation, the captain then viciously punched Plenio in the chest and escaped down a nearby corridor, screaming "Knockout, ladies and gentlemen!"
This came several hours after two lieutenant colonels violently assaulted an analyst from the Rand Corporation giving a presentation on "Electromagnetism in Counterinsurgency."
While the Pentagon Force Protection Agency has refused to release any additional details, insiders say this marks the fifth attack in the last week and has left senior military and civilian leaders afraid to leave thei…
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