Lab Grown Testicles Give New Hope To Incoming Platoon Leaders
FORT CAMPBELL, Ky. — The Army is offering new hope to young officers by providing a group of volunteers an experimental new therapy, sources say. Doctors at Walter Reed Medical Center’s brand new Center for Testicular Fortitude have begun implanting testicles, grown from tissue samples donated by former platoon sergeants, in a clinical trial that is being closely watched by E-6s throughout the Army.
One of the first to volunteer was 2nd Lt Hank Skelton of the 101st Airborne Division, 24, of Richmond, R.I.
Skelton was living in what he called “a miasma of fear and confusion.” Skelton says he was "mean mugged and openly mocked" by platoon sergeants and senior officers alike.
“Platoon sergeants —not just mine, but like, all of them — were just so mean,” Skelton says. “And the battalion staff, too.” Now his life is better thanks to the therapy and, as a result, he is finding the testicular fortitude to excel at his first unit assignment.
“I’m an officer, goddammit, and fucking Staff Sgt. Blin…
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