ADVICE: Leadership strategies for today's new infantry woman

Now that all combat MOS’s are open to the ladies, there are no barriers holding women back from leadership positions anywhere in the military. But all too often, men in the workplace feel threatened by a woman whose leadership style is too aggressive or has a bias for action.

There are a number of cultural differences in the infantry that the modern girl-grunt (Girunt) will have to adjust to. Here are some leadership strategies the conventional infantry woman may find helpful when she is surrounded by five miles of cock.


In the infantry, making time hacks is important. While a woman in the civilian workforce may have the option of using her wiles or other socially acceptable tactics, a Girunt has no time to mess around.

Civilian Woman: “Let’s throw some ideas out there together about how long we need to work this through before we turn it in.” vs. Girunt: “Bitch, I will skull fuck you with a mortar tube if this isn’t submitted by close of business.”

Having Original Thoughts

Women in the workplace often get around their overconfidence by downplaying their own ideas. Girunts must navigate the rough seas of infantry life by making sound and timely decisions, hurt feelings be damned.

Civilian Woman: “Hey, just throwing something out there, but…” vs. Girunt: “This is what we’re going to do, fucksticks.”


Gyno-Americans in the modern workforce sometimes prefer not to come across as too pushy, and their email correspondence reflects a remarkable skill in downplaying their competence.

Civilian Woman: “Hi Bob! Do you think I can take a quick look at your progress when you’re ready? No rush! Thanks.” vs. Girunt: “GET IN MY OFFICE NOW.”

Conflict Resolution

Disagreements happen in the workplace. With diplomacy and tact, a civilian can communicate her position without creating offense. In the infantry, creating offense is your position.

Civilian Woman: “Wow Billy, I think your idea has a lot of merit, but what if we tweaked it a little…” vs. Girunt: “You’re a fucking idiot ... sir.”

Correcting Mistakes

Women in non-military workplaces generally have to be careful when pointing out their coworkers' mistakes or be labeled “a brown-nosing little bitch.” Girunts are obligated to call that baby ugly as sin.

Civilian Woman: “Are you sure this is right? I can’t tell. Let’s look at this together one more time before we present it anywhere.” vs. Girunt: “What the hell is this? This is not what I told you to do. If you ever do this again I am going to drive a 7-ton truck up your ass and use your taint as a chock block.”


It’s going to happen, and the most often used tool in the modern workplace is the awkward laugh. This ensures at least everyone with a penis is comfortable at work. In the infantry, no one should be comfortable, as comfort-based decisions get people killed.

Civilian Woman: “Ha-ha … um … aaawwwkwwwaaaarrrd! Ha!” vs. Girunt: “Let me hear that kind of stupid shit again, and I will rip your lips off and wipe my ass with them.”

The conventional infantry woman knows the path to a successful career is to step on everyone’s dick but her own. Good luck out there Girunts! You kick ass!