LOS ANGELES, CA — A controversial report released this week from Rolling Stone magazine has revealed the patriotic "God Bless The USA" song by Lee Greenwood produces the anthem of the former Soviet Union when played backwards.
The song, which features lyrics such as "I'm proud to be an American where at least I know I'm free", and "I love this land, God bless the USA," is a prominent fixture at Independence Day celebrations and other all-American functions.
Unfortunately, according to the report, the reversed tune reveals lyrics in Russian. "Long live the creation of the will of the people!," the lyrics begin, "the united, mighty Soviet Union!"
Later in the song, the Soviet anthem is replaced by contemporary lyrics that mimic the original Greenwood melody.
"From the lakes of Chukchagirskoye, to the mountains of the Urals," the song continues, "across the west Siberian plain, from Kravtsovskoye oil field to the Baltic sea."
Not surprising is the reaction from Greenwood's fans.
"I just can't believe this, this is horrible," said Nancy Jenkins, a housewife in St. Louis, Mo. "I'm proud to be an American, but does this mean Greenwood is a communist?"
"Thanks Obama," she added.
Greenwood, a singer-songwriter from Sacramento, Calif., first released the song in 1984 — right at the height of Cold War tensions.
"We looked back at the history of the song and investigated Greenwood's past," said Bob Regan, a special agent with the FBI. "It turns out that he was working with the Soviets to infiltrate popular American culture."
"Basically, every time you hear that song as 4th of July fireworks burst overhead, you might as well be saluting the hammer and sickle," Regan concluded.
At press time, Agent Regan was investigating an anonymous tip that Greenwood was seen adding fluoride to local water supplies in a number of major U.S. cities.