Leg becomes airborne qualified
FORT BENNING, Ga. — Well, an actual prosthetic leg has managed to become Airborne qualified.
The ceremony for said leg, which the Airborne Cadre affectionately referenced by its given name, “Fucking Leg!” will take place later this week alongside the rest of the Airborne personnel graduating the course.
Sgt. Maribel Sonata-Leg from the Fort Benning Airborne School said, “We couldn’t believe it when it happened. We were pretty sure that Fucking Leg was going to fall out of one of the runs, maybe go cold on one of the harness trainers, or be a jump refusal. But, nah. That Fucking Leg really got out that door.”
A lot goes into training young men and women to jump out of airplanes. They practice jumping onto the ground in pits of sand. They practice jumping onto the ground in pits of rubber. And on most days they practice jumping onto honest-to-God grass.
“It’s exhausting work,” Sonata-Leg continued. “An arm could never do this stuff. There’s too much precision involved. Too many variables. L…
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