Dick Scuttlebutt is Duffel Blog’s legal correspondent, and has degrees in both Legality and Legonomy from East Dickhole State University. Go Manticores! Disclaimer: Dick Scuttlebutt is not certified by any bars, especially not by Howl at the Moon in Destin, FL. Screw you, Terry.
Legal update: The top 16 crimes you won’t get pardoned for!
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Navy & Marines
Paste-eating Marine praised for unmatched commitment to unit
Unit leaders say his ability to stick with the mission is unmatched
Army
Backed-up toilet appointed new Secretary of the Army
Pentagon says clogged fixture brings “continuity, stability and ability to swallow enormous amounts of shit”
Air & Space
Space Force’s new uniform puts a little goose back in the step
White House says redesign projects discipline, strength and “absolutely no historical parallels”
