Major Realizes His Job Is Completely Irrelevant, Achieves Nirvana

FORT BRAGG, N.C. — Maj. James Fitzgerald achieved Nirvana this week after realizing that his job is completely and utterly irrelevant to anything that occurs in the real world, according to sources.

Fitzgerald serves as the Assistant Section Planner for International Integration and Partnership (IIP) at US Army Forces Command (FORSCOM). Nirvana is an emo…