Major Isn't Sure Where His Security Detail Went

KABUL, Afghanistan — An Army officer in Afghanistan is very lost this afternoon, Duffel Blog has learned, and is hoping to find his security detail as soon as possible.

“Ermm … Yep. Fuck. I don’t know where I am,” Maj. William Spencer reports, scratching nervously under the shoulder strap of his empty plate carrier. “This place is real big.”

Spencer, a re…