Pilot Who Shot Down Malaysia Airliner Admits It Was Easier Target Than 9/11 Planes

TWENTYNINE PALMS, Calif. — Speaking in an exclusive interview with Duffel Blog reporters, the Marine Corps pilot who secretly shot down Malaysia Airlines Flight MH370 admitted that the plane was much easier to destroy than the 9/11 airplanes.

“I was just a lieutenant back then,” said Col. Horace Griffin, a native of New Bern, Conn., recalling his combat air patrol on Sept. 11, 2001. “But it wasn’t just my relative inexperience. We also didn’t have a lot of time to coordinate. When Cheney and Halliburton gave the go-ahead, we had to scramble and shoot down those planes within just a few minutes.”

With the MH370 flight, Griffin explained, a longer planning time and newer technology led to a much less-challenging mission. He and his wingman were briefed and had time to rehearse for several weeks.

“Much more relaxing,” he said. “Really just a milk run. Not like on 9/11, when just me and a few other guys had to simultaneously down four planes, remotely fly four other planes packed with explosives into their targets, and fire a missile at the Pentagon."

"Oh, and tap Rosie O’Donnell’s phone because she figured out the truth," he added.

Asked for comment, many older veterans agreed that although they appreciate the service of the younger generation of pilots, updates to technology and tactics have made their jobs much easier.

“I don’t see it as them having a walk in the park,” said retired Brig. Gen. Benjamin Sunjata, an Army Air Force pilot originally from the island of Saipan, who flew B-2 bombers in World War II and Korea.

“It’s more like they get the time and autonomy that we just didn’t have all the time, back when me and Kubrick did the moon landing on that soundstage in Echo Park,” Sunjata continued. “Or when my wife’s dad was helping with the Lusitania attack so we could pin it on the Germans.”

For his part, Griffin is looking forward to lots of future conspiracies such as the upcoming bridge collapse in Colorado and the “Al Qaeda” attack on the World Series, set to occur later this year.