Marine calls Coast Guard to save him from drowning in debt
NORFOLK, Va. — A US Marine currently drowning in a sea of debt is calling the US Coast Guard to ask if they can throw him a life ring, sources confirmed today.
Cpl. Barry Atwood says he is desperate to stay afloat amid the purchase of multiple souped-up motorcycles, gaining an unhealthy gambling habit, and his wife’s ever increasing LuLaRoe addiction.
"I get my $3200 on Friday, and wake up Sunday morning with no money in the bank," said Atwood, who called the Coast Guard yesterday afternoon in an uncontrollable panic.
Atwood joined the Marines out of high school in 2014. But after three years in the military and a marriage to his high school sweetheart, he's racked up $62,000 in credit card debt.
"MAYDAY MAYDAY," called Atwood, “I need a savings plan, debt consolidation, and a rescue swimmer to immediately get me out of here."
Sources say that over the years, Atwood bought a new Ford Mustang, spent $20,000 on his wedding, bought a bunch of gold-plated HDMI cords, and wasted an untold amoun…
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