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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 119 · Monday, 5 October 2026

Navy & Marines

Lincoln sailor returning from deployment already broke

Financial counselors unable to determine where approximately 10 months of pay went

Paste-eating Marine praised for unmatched commitment to unit

Backed-up toilet appointed new Secretary of the Army

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Vol. 15 · No. 119

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Established 2012 · Deployed worldwide

Vol. 15 · No. 119 · Deployed worldwide

Monday

5 October 2026

2027 Zulu

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· Page 2

Marine celebrates historic six month marriage

Filed · 1545

TWENTYNINE PALMS, CA – The 1st Marine Tank Battalion threw a party to celebrate Lance Corporal Matt Blake’s marriage reaching an unprecedented six months.

“This is an inspiring story of true love overcoming all obstacles,” said Gunnery Sergeant Jason Watt, who holds the current record for sleeping with Blake’s wife three times since the couple married. “It’ll melt the coldest heart.”

Blake met his wife Sarah at The Cactus Room, an upscale restaurant in town. It was an entire week before they moved in together and Blake waited a record three weeks before proposing. The couple was engaged for two whole days before getting married at a civil ceremony in time for happy hour.

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