PENTAGON — Leaders from the Navy and Marine Corps announced at a press conference today that they would temporarily divert up to 3 percent of their tattoo policy resources to investigating claims of inappropriate photo sharing and commenting perpetrated against female Marines.

"We were hoping that this small distractor of 30,00 people participating in sharing nude photos of female Marines without their consent would just go away," said Brig. Gen. Robert Adams, the chairman of the investigating committee. "After all, that's like 10% of the Corps, tops, and maybe only like three or 10 times that if they were passing the really good ones around."

The committee, made up entirely of men, plans to meet as much as three times before the next congressional investigation, so long as their duties creating and enforcing new tattoo policy allows for it.

"In a time of limited resources, we need to get this funny internet thing that's been spreading out of the way so that we can focus on enforcing the…