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Marine crayon eating competition goes horribly wrong

CHERRY POINT, N.C. — Catastrophe has consumed Marine Corps Air Station Cherry Point after a Marine died of crayon consumption, what sources call "one of the top three worst case scenarios for Marines." Now investigators are trying to determine how this could have happened.

An inquiry into the command climate concerning crayon consumption is currently being coordinated by the brass at Camp Lejeune. Of chief concern is whether or not Charlie Company was complying with the crayon consumption code by sticking to the three Cs: color, crunch, and chew.

Navy Lt. Doug Forsythe is conducting the JAGMAN investigation, and has focused his efforts on "C3."

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