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Out-of-regs staff Sgt. Convinces Marine privates he's with delta

SIERRA VISTA, Ariz. — Four Marine privates completely "lost their shit" this weekend when they met who they believed was a member of the U.S. Army's elite Delta Force at the local Buffalo Wild Wings, sources confirmed.

Marine Staff Sgt. Randall Hoss, who is on temporary duty to Fort Huachuca and hasn't cut his hair in two weeks, decided to go along with the privates' assumption after bumming a smoke from them.

"I told them I couldn't say much, because Delta had surveillance on me to make sure I didn't get drunk and tell anyone about my status," said Hoss. "Then I showed them my appendix scar and said it was from being stabbed by Taliban."

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