Marine private drops his pack with more than 3 years left on enlistment

CAMP PENDLETON, Calif. — A motor transport mechanic just short of a year into his enlistment has vowed to mail in the remainder of his service time after receiving non-judicial punishment for a traffic arrest.

Pvt. Jim Jarlo was speeding on Interstate 5 and said he never saw the Oceanside officer attempting to pull him over; resulting in a fleeing and eluding charge added to the reckless driving.

The vow of defiance was made in the 1st Maintenance Battalion motor pool Wednesday afternoon after he was spotted in a state of extreme aggravation and was questioned about the missing chevrons on his collar.

“They dicked me," he announced to a small group of lance corporals meandering around a water bull. “I’m rushing to make it back from the bar in time for barracks duty, and that shittin’ Oceanside cop got me right before the gate. The hell with this place; I’m done.”

Despite early subordination, Jarlo has had a tumultuous start to his Marine Corps career, having barely shot marksman in boot camp as well as spending his first few months in the fleet on remedial physical training. The NJP is enough cause from his perspective to veer off on his own program.

In addition to dropping his pack, he detailed plans to ‘shit can’ his iron and starch, become ‘fat and nasty’, and forego haircuts and shaves for the remainder of his enlistment.

Jarlo made similarly unfounded claims last year at Parris Island after a bout with bird flu sidelined him for 10 days, before being recycled back two cycles of training.

He insisted that this time it would be different, even if he was the only four year private in the Marine Corps.

“Fuck these people," he concluded after flicking his cigarette butt into the water bull. “They can kiss my ass.”