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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Saturday, 26 September 2026

Pentagon

Military leaders debate who gets to masturbate first in sniper arch

Services clash over historic privilege of being first to defile nation’s newest military monument

Mitch McConnell returns from extended drill weekend

Trump considers replacing Hegseth with rock or something

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Vol. 15 · No. 115

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Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Deployed worldwide

Saturday

26 September 2026

2021 Zulu

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Navy & Marines · Page 5

Marine Corps study finds men have biological need to share nudes

Filed · 1535

WASHINGTON — The Marine Corps is poised to release the results of a controversial new gender study that aims to absolve its leadership from any negligence or perceived mishandling of the recent nude photo scandal, sources confirmed today.

The week-long research project, which relied on a team of expert anthropologists, biologists, misogynists, and primatologists from the Marine Corps Center for Operational Culture and Knowledge, claims it found evidence that all men are essentially biologically-programmed to share nudes, talk about sex all the time, and denigrate women.

“Men have been interested in sharing pictures of boobs and drawing their own penises since the dawn of time,” said Dr. Richard Hole, a researcher who co-authored the report.

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