CAMP PENDLETON, Calif. — That one guy in your unit with a "9/11 Never Forget" on the back of his Jeep is definitely black out drunk right now and can't remember anything, sources confirmed today.

Sources indicate that the Marine in question was supposed to be at a memorial ceremony at dawn, but forgot to set his alarm since he was drinking the night before. He woke up several hours late and drove to the PX, where he was seen walking back to his car during colors while holding an American flag Budweiser 30-pack and two bags of flaming hot Cheetos.

The Marine has been posting drunkenly on Facebook since noon, his friends said.