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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 134 · Monday, 9 November 2026

Pentagon

Hegseth asks staff to make next execution more like ‘The Running Man’

Pentagon says condemned prisoners could compete for freedom in televised death matches

Pete Hegseth picks wrong week to stop drinking

Pentagon confident U.S. will be ready for 2027 war with China by 2035

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Vol. 15 · No. 134

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Vol. 15 · No. 134 · Deployed worldwide

Monday

9 November 2026

1413 Zulu

Next edition Wednesday

← Front page
· Page 2

Mattis nomination forces battlefield evacuation of Marines in Iraq overcome by giant moto-boners

Filed · 1536

OUTSIDE MOSUL, Iraq — Hundreds of Marines tasked with training and advising Iraqi Army forces have been medically evacuated from the battlefield this week after being overcome by massive moto-boners.

The medical emergency followed the announcement that retired Marine Gen. James Mattis had been officially nominated for Secretary of Defense.

That number is expected to rise, as most Marines expect Mattis to eventually give an interview to reporters where he'll mention things such as Copenhagen, killing shitheads, or beating up protestors.

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