Military pilot takes overt alcoholism to private sector

BOISE, Id. — Capt. Stuart J Rollins, an A-10 pilot in the Idaho Air National Guard, is taking the alcoholism and flight skills the military gave him and bringing them to the private sector.

"I learned a lot in the Guard, and now I think it's time for the private sector and my bank account to benefit, like so many pilots before me," said Rollins, a pilot for the 124th Fighter Wing, "Sorry to cut this short, but I need to get out of here."

"Has anyone seen my car keys?"

For years, pilots from all branches of service have moved from the military into the private sector, flying us to and from all over the globe. Rollins is the latest in a long line of extraordinary men and women who have learned the skills of a pilot, which include knowing where the best places are to get drunk within 10 miles of an airport.

While his knowledge in flying the A-10 "Warthog" will help him become a better pilot when he moves to an airline later this summer, Rollins' overt alcoholism will give him the false confidence all veterans need to succeed in the civilian world.

Rollins' Wing Commander, Col. Reginald A. Ryan, told reporters how he felt about losing one of his best to the private sector.

"I helped bring Rollins' up in the ANG, and he's one hell of a pilot," said Smith as he poured another two fingers of Scotch, "I once saw him drink six Marines under the table, hop into his bird, blow up a target or two, only to return and finish off the bottle."

"We sure will miss him."