Military returns early from Afghanistan, catches America cheating

’MURICA — The entire U.S. military returned home from Afghanistan this week, intending to give America a poignant, joyful surprise reunion. Instead, it caught America in bed with someone else. Friends of the military said it was “shocked and heartbroken” and had drowned itself in party liquor and disreputable women.

“You hate to see it, but it’s common,”…