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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 117 · Thursday, 1 October 2026

Army

Backed-up toilet appointed new Secretary of the Army

Pentagon says clogged fixture brings “continuity, stability and ability to swallow enormous amounts of shit”

Space Force’s new uniform puts a little goose back in the step

Military leaders debate who gets to masturbate first in sniper arch

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Vol. 15 · No. 117

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Vol. 15 · No. 117 · Deployed worldwide

Thursday

1 October 2026

0328 Zulu

Next edition Friday

← Front page
Air & Space · Page 6

Minot Air Force base launches search for missing minuteman nuclear missile

Filed · 1533

MINOT AIR FORCE BASE, N.D. — Airmen stationed at a North Dakota base known for housing the land-based leg of the nuclear triad are frantically searching for a Minuteman III intercontinental ballistic missile that went missing earlier this week, sources confirmed today.

"It was just here," said Lt. Jenna Singleton, a missileer. "Where the hell could this thing go?"

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