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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 119 · Monday, 5 October 2026

Navy & Marines

Lincoln sailor returning from deployment already broke

Financial counselors unable to determine where approximately 10 months of pay went

Paste-eating Marine praised for unmatched commitment to unit

Backed-up toilet appointed new Secretary of the Army

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Vol. 15 · No. 119

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Duffel Blog

Established 2012 · Deployed worldwide

Vol. 15 · No. 119 · Deployed worldwide

Monday

5 October 2026

2329 Zulu

Next edition Wednesday

← Front page
· Page 2

Military police buy 92% of world’s truck nutz, study finds

Filed · 1542

FAYETTEVILLE — A new study released by the Consumer Reporting Agency has found that military police officers purchase the vast majority of the world’s Truck Nutz, steroids, and penis enlargement pills.

The study concluded the average military police officer buys three pairs of Truck Nutz, with most attaching one pair to their truck, one to their patrol car, and one above their desk. The study found this was the most efficient way to ensure they have balls in their face at all times.

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