MRE Just Wants Some Foreplay Prior To Getting Ratfucked

USS BOXER – A Meal, Ready-to-Eat (MRE) aboard the amphibious assault ship USS Boxer says it would be nice to have some foreplay prior to getting torn from its packaging and ratfucked by whichever Marine eventually pulls it out of its cardboard box in search of a late night snack.

Though the Menu 7 Beef Brisket MRE says it’s keenly aware that whomever its…