Mutant Super-Soldier Can’t Find Job After Service
TULSA, Okla. — Genetically-engineered combat veteran James Logan, who recently received an honorable discharge from the US Army after 14 years of service, is completely unable to find steady employment now that he has separated, sources say.
Logan cited problems with explaining military experience to civilian employers during a recent interview. “Microsoft told me that leading hundreds of heroes on a bloody warpath wasn’t really management experience,” Logan quipped while opening an unemployment decision letter with his metal claws. “If cold-blooded murder isn’t capitalism, I don’t know what is, Bub.”
Many of Logan’s government-created former teammates experienced similar issues.
“Me no have job,” said one veteran who wished to remain anonymous. “Me heart big as me fists. Me sad.” He crumpled his résumé into dust. “Me think hiring veteran no for helping veteran, but for helping company public image.”
Bank of America, who has hired nearly two veterans in the last five years, was shocked. “…
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