LITTLE CREEK, Va. — With base gyms now open, sources report that the newly reported Admiral in charge of your command has taken the liberty of hosting a lively conversation with you while standing fully nude.
“He was just talking to this me like we were in the office or something, with his manhood just swinging in the wind,” said victim Petty Officer Ted Carter.
The Admiral launched into subjects like how his family has had to cope with quarantine and changes in work schedule while not once reaching for an article of clothing to at least make it seem like he intends on getting dressed. Onlookers began to contemplate how to address the situation but given his rank, opted to just leave PO Carter to suffer in silent awkwardness.
“I didn’t know what to say, I just stared at his eyes with ultimate discipline,” said Petty Officer Carter. “I was hoping he’d look at his phone or something but he just kept talking and asking me questions about my wife.”
“I went to go run on the treadmill for 20 minutes, and when I came back to grab my gloves he was still talking to that poor guy,” said one bystander. “You could tell it was a difficult situation, I mean, there’s the new Admiral all confident and naked with his hands on his hips while this poor bastard had to enjoy the free show.”
When questioned, the Admiral explained that in no way was this some kind of power-move to show the Petty Officer that the Admiral had complete control of the situation and he had no means of escape until the Admiral chose to end the conversation on my terms.
“I was relieved to finally get out of there,” Carter told reporters. “I felt like I had to take another shower after that flex.”