NASA Discovers Red Star Cluster, Entire Military Ceases Fire
Don't shoot.
ORLANDO, FL — In a rare move, U.S. combatant commands across the globe called for "cease fire" Friday, after the National Air and Space Administration (NASA) announced the Hubble had identified a new red star cluster just outside the Milky Way.
The more traditional military-issued red star cluster has been used by small units in recent conflicts to signal anything from injured troops to troops-in-contact. However, current military doctrine clearly states the "red star cluster should be explicitly utilized as a means for signaling a cease fire."
Experts believe that doctrine is exactly what caused the confusion.
"The combatant commands are staffed by senior military officials who pride themselves in studying and successfully executing doctrine. So it's no surprise they applied the single command across the entire force," said a low-ranking Pentagon official who chose to speak on the condition of anonymity for risk of getting his ass handed to him on a silver platter.
While most…
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