Duffel Blog

Share this post
National Guard deployed to enforce vaccine mandate on National Guard
www.duffelblog.com

National Guard deployed to enforce vaccine mandate on National Guard

Always ready, always there with an inoculation.

Nov 19, 2021
Comment2
Share

By Bad Lawyer

President Joe Biden announced today he will deploy the National Guard to enforce the Pentagon’s vaccine mandate on the National Guard.

“One of the many missions of the National Guard is to assist in domestic disasters,” said Pentagon spokesman John Kirby. “And what constitutes more of a domestic disaster one weekend a month and two weeks per year than the current level of unvaccinated National Guard members? Deploying the Guard to assist in getting them vaccinated just makes sense.”

Since Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin announced vaccines would be required for all active-duty troops, the U.S. military branches have had varying success in getting its members vaccinated, with the National Guard coming in dead last at -7.3%.

“I wasn’t gonna get vaccinated, but first sergeant said I wouldn’t be able to go on this deployment without it,” said Spc. Mike Hennigan, a machine gunner with the Alabama National Guard. “Guess those crafty buggers outfoxed me again.”

Share

Plans for the National Guard to enforce the mandate include issuing each unvaccinated guardsman a Covid-19 vaccine self-injection, a mirror, and a Hello Kitty Band-Aid. The Department of Defense will also provide a colorful cartoon instruction booklet detailing an easy-to-follow two-step process:

  1. Take the vaccine.

  2. Sign the damn roster before your commanding officer gets fired.

“State Adjutant Generals will also be supplied with tens of thousands of lollipops and smiley face stickers and battle buddies will be asked to hold each other’s hands for extra encouragement,” Kirby said.

Additionally, National Guard plans allow for guardsmen to vaccinate fellow troops in their sleep, harpoon them from a distance of no more than 6 meters, or turn off their ventilator in the event they catch Covid-19.

“This is some bullshit,” said Sen. Jim Inhofe (R-Okla.). “These brave men and women joined the National Guard to protect the U.S. in times of conflict or national disaster. You can’t tell me that a pandemic that has killed 765,000 of my fellow Americans qualifies as a national disaster.”

Leave a comment

Comment2
ShareShare

Create your profile

0 subscriptions will be displayed on your profile (edit)

Skip for now

Only paid subscribers can comment on this post

Already a paid subscriber? Sign in

Check your email

For your security, we need to re-authenticate you.

Click the link we sent to , or click here to sign in.

Carl
Nov 19, 2021

BG Thomas Mancino, the newly appointed State Adjutant General of the Oklahoma Army National Guard has declared that OKARNG is now a sovereign state military force and no longer recognizes the federal government as the controlling interest. Mancino was promoted to Brigadier General 7 September 2019. When asked how he felt this might affect his next appearance before a promotion board he replied, "I'm not worried. Jimmy Inhofe carries a lot of weight in DC."

Expand full comment
Reply
Keith
Nov 19, 2021

One weekend a month my ass and why can’t they give me the shot their

Expand full comment
Reply
TopNewCommunity

No posts

Ready for more?

© 2022 Duffel Blog LLC
Privacy ∙ Terms ∙ Collection notice
Publish on Substack Get the app
Substack is the home for great writing