BENTONVILLE, Ark. — A National Guard soldier tried to repeatedly claim that she was in the Army last night, according to a number of witnesses at Creekside Grille, sources confirmed today.

Mary Deerhorn, a lieutenant colonel attached to Arkansas’s 153rd Infantry regiment, mentioned her part-time military service after complimenting waiter Don Simmons’ “MY BROTHER’S KEEPER” forearm tattoo, which he said was inspired by his dedication to the JROTC program at Bentonville High School.

“Oh, great,” Deerhorn said, according to witnesses. "I’m in the Army, too. 153rd Infantry regiment.”

“I’m sorry,” asked Simmons. "You transferred from active duty into the guard or…?”