BRUSSELS, Belgium — Lt. Col. Dave Birdsong has spent the last two hours sitting in a briefing, unsure whether the presenter is British or brain damaged.

Birdsong is not alone: Many of the attendees are flabbergasted about whether the officer giving the brief has some sort of mental deficiency or is simply from England, Duffel Blog has learned.

“When he says the American military forces have ‘quite good kit, Bob’s your uncol,’ is that just a regional idiom, or might I need to summon medical help?” Birdsong asked reporters. “If he’s having a stroke, I want to help. But Brits frequently talk nonsense like that, so I’m not totally certain.”