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America’s Navy: Are you going to finish eating that?

THE PENTAGON — Hey, thanks for making it out to meet me for lunch. Sorry I’m so out of breath. Apparently there’s an actual Gold Star mom somewhere around here, so I had to park a few spots farther down.

Anyway, you probably heard that we’re changing our service slogan — oh, you should definitely get the fish tacos, I always get at least twelve. Two? What are you, on some kind of diet? No? Catholic guilt about something? Alright, suit yourself.

Where was I? Right, new motto. “A global force for good” is kind of … Well, let’s not sugarcoat it. It sucks. I mean, if anything, we’re a “regional” force for good. I can’t believe that one slid through the cracks.

“Globe-shaped force for good?” Ha, ha, very funny. In the Navy, we change the standards so we don’t have to change ourselves. Hold on, let me write that down.

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