NAS INNSMOUTH, Mass. — The Navy commissioned the military's first death cultist chaplain in an Eldritch ceremony September 28, according to sources in the Secretary of the Navy's office. He will enter service with the Marine Corps at Camp Lejeune.

At midnight under a gibbous moon, Chief of Navy Reserve Vice Adm. Randolph Carter officially commissioned Lt. j.g. Barnabas "Barney" Marsh, who completed the oath of service with, "So help me, Dagon."

"Marsh's commissioning is an important dream come true for the Chaplain Corps," said Carter. "It shows our effort to continually improve diversity in order to serve sailors and Marines of various religious backgrounds."

Chaplain Marsh's candidacy was sponsored by the Esoteric Order of Dagon, an anti-anthropocentric masonic occult order dedicated to various methods of exploring the Collective Unconscious through Assyro-Babylonian mysticism and responsible financial planning. The Order is most well known for its legal campaign to have the Elder Sign…