Navy Chief Indoctrination Culminates In Human Sacrifice

WORLDWIDE – Doomsday prophecies were actualized in an unholy and gruesome ceremony as the United States Navy inducted its freshest batch of minions into the Chief’s Mess, sources confirmed Friday.

Awestruck commands worldwide stood paralyzed with fear as each Chief Petty Officer selectee for fiscal year 2013 opened his or her mysterious wooden box, consu…