ATLANTIC OCEAN — Boatswain’s Mate Chief Robert Dallas put in a full day of work onboard USS Arlington (LPD-24) by nodding at a pair of junior sailors, sources report.

Sources say Dallas slept past reveille, wandered into the Chief’s Mess to get food after breakfast had ended, and spent an hour drinking coffee. He then walked into quarters 15 minutes late so he could dutifully repeat the same information that had been put out at the beginning of quarters.

“You guys have been doing a great job,” Dallas said to the assembled formation of sailors. “Break.”

Sources say Dallas spent ten minutes reading emails without responding, then took a well-deserved break in the Chief’s Mess where he complained about how lazy his subordinates were.

Dallas then walked around the ship until he ran into a pair of seamen painting a bulkhead. He paused until they noticed him, smiled, and nodded in an approving manner. Certain he had inspired them to stay in the Navy until retirement, he headed back to the Chief’s Mess for the rest of the day.

When asked for comment, Dallas humbly responded, “Chiefs make the Navy run.”