GUANTANAMO BAY, CUBA — Numerous sources at Naval Station Guantanamo Bay are confirming the sighting of a new female employee on the base this morning, and many are speculating on her current rating.

"She's like an 8, and I don't mean a Gitmo 8," said Master at Arms 3rd Class (MA3) Frank Newman, assigned to the Joint Detention Group (JDG) and charged with guarding the detainees currently held at Joint Task Force detention camps.

Newman is referring to the common practice of assigning a numerical rating to women based on their physical attractiveness.

"A GTMO 8 pretty much tells you that she doesn’t have any visible scars or a club foot. For comparison, a 7 means she doesn’t sweat too much, and a 6 is mostly likely confirmed as female."