The highly anticipated new Meals-Ready-to-Eat flavor will be a literal bag of human shit, the Defense Logistics Agency confirmed today.

While in the past the Department of Defense has poured millions of dollars into developing recipes like "Chili and Macaroni" and "Maple Sausage," this time Army officials decided to give "those ungrateful troops a meal they deserve."

"They say 'you are what you eat,' so we decided to cut the crap, so to speak, and give these shitbags bags of shit, " said MRE flavor engineer Diane Hopkins. "I really don't care anymore."