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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 124 · Friday, 16 October 2026

OpFor

Iran condemns US plan to livestream execution as barbaric

Tehran questions whether America has completely abandoned standards of human decency

Vetbro apparel company pivots from stupid shirts to aggressively homoerotic ones

AI deemed ‘too smart’ to replace infantry

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Vol. 15 · No. 124

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Vol. 15 · No. 124 · Deployed worldwide

Friday

16 October 2026

1338 Zulu

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← Front page
Army · Page 4

New Army 'performance triad': Unprotected sex, steroids, and tobacco

Filed · 1538

THE PENTAGON – For many years, the Army’s Performance Triad recommended soldiers get a good night’s sleep, physical activity, and healthy nutrition, but all that is about changing. In a bow to “who we really are” Army Chief of Staff Gen. Mark A. Milley announced yesterday a new Triad of “unprotected sex, steroids, and chewing tobacco.”

“This is a wellness initiative we know our soldiers will get behind,” Milley said, “because they're already fully invested in these things.”

While civilians are skeptical about long-term health hazards associated with tobacco, Medical Command leaders strongly support the initiative.

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